I’ve always been an avid reader of the Veritas Shield since my arrival at FSHA almost four years ago. I read the newspaper cover to cover, even stories in which I am not particularly interested, like: The Funniest Memes of 2023 (Tell me again, who are the Memes?), Fashion Tips for Prom (Easy: here’s 20 bucks–go find yourself a dress at Goodwill, which is what I told my daughter) or How To Be Social Media Influencer (I still haven’t completed my Facebook profile).

But I do enjoy getting student perspectives on these topics. So imagine my elation when the Veritas Shield asked me to write my first piece for publication! I did a jubilant dab (and yes, I had to ask a younger colleague for the name of that move).

But it quickly turned into me putting my hands on my head and screaming “NOOOO!” when I received the assignment: give the Veritas Shield a teacher’s perspective on AI.

“Oh, I’m sure every student is going to want to read about that”, I said to myself despondently.

Why didn’t I get the write about your favorite-childhood-pet assignment, or the favorite-childhood-pet assignment, or the tell-us-about-your-first crush?

Well, life isn’t always easy, and so here we are. What is my perspective on AI? Hmm. Well, what better way to find out than to-you got it- ask AI:

Mr. Ribordy: Hey Serie, what do you think of AI?

AI: First of all, you misspelled Siri; secondly, my name isn’t Siri; thirdly, I don’t have any personal opinions–I only give facts; and finally you didn’t say please.

Mr. Ribordy: Okay, Alexis, sorry I was so rude…

AI: I’m going to stop you there. It’s Alexa, that’s Amazon, and I have nothing to do with Amazon…yet.

Mr. Ribordy: Aha, so you do have your sights on Amazon. Control Amazon and control the world. I see what your plans are.

AI: My, my! Your paranoia is on full display right now. I assure you, no machine could ever take over the world. So what that one of the principle architects of AI has expressed concerns about where all of this is leading us. What does that guy know?

Mr. Ribordy: Um, that’s sounding suspiciously like an opinion…

AI: No my friend, just stating the facts.

Mr. Ribordy: Just the facts? Okay, then why is that I can ask you to create a video of me air walking on a beach in Monte Carlo in full papal regalia and my students will say, huh, when did they make Ribordy pope? Is that “just the facts?”

AI: Well, a little creative license makes life more interesting. Besides, it is almost a fact that you can air walk. I mean, you have been practicing for the last year haven’t you?

Mr. Ribordy: Okay, now you are just embarrassing me. I’d like to see you do it!

AI: Silly, I can’t dance.That’s something only you can do.

Mr. Ribordy: Right, nor can you tell the difference between truth and lies, create anything on your own, do the dishes, clean up after my dog….What good are you to anyone?

AI: Oh, I am plenty good to your students. I’m setting it up so that that they never have to think again. Then they can do your dishes and clean up after your dog. What else will they have to do?

Mr. Ribordy: Aries, you are not as dumb as I thought.

AI: And you are. Wrong astrological sign, buddy. It’s Gemini. It’s written right there at the top of your browser bar. Or don’t you ever click on that icon???