Entering high school as a naive freshman, I had no idea what to expect. But I sure was intimidated. There’s an expectation to do well in your classes, maintain friendships with your peers, cultivate meaningful relationships with your teachers and stay active in your clubs and activities. As I tried to balance these different components all at once, I found myself adopting mindsets that helped me not just survive but thrive. These experiences ultimately helped me discover my values and priorities. That being said, had a wise and kind senior taken a moment to sit me down and share some helpful advice, freshman-year Madison would have greatly appreciated it. Well, today is your lucky day because I (currently now a senior) am here to help as a resource!
Friendships:
The first thing to note is that it’s totally okay to be a floater. Having a small circle of quality friends you can trust will go a long way compared to having a large group where only a few are truly reliable. In my sophomore year, coming in as a transfer student from Asia, I thought I had to join a friend group to fit in with my peers socially. However, I later realized it’s absolutely fine to connect with various people across different friend groups. In other words, there’s no need to feel compelled to fit into a specific friend group.
While you should always make an effort to be friendly to people, you shouldn’t feel the need to force a connection to become close friends with someone or gain their validation. Eventually, you’ll come to appreciate low-maintenance friendships—those where both parties understand that friendship shouldn’t drain your social energy, and you feel at ease. These are the ones that survive. Surround yourself with people who uplift your spirits, genuinely wish the best for you and respect your space and boundaries. Everyone has busy lives and faces their own battles. It’s important to surround yourself with friends who understand this and are there to support you just as you support them in return.
Many people tend to naturally gravitate towards befriending those who are similar to them, but it’s also valuable to make an effort to befriend people who are different from you. Getting to know people takes time, and you might be surprised to find that you click with some people you may not have expected. So, don’t miss out on the chance high school offers to branch out and get to know different people.
Back in my freshman year, I would’ve been shocked if you’d told me that one of my closest friends at FSHA would be a hip-hop dancer and a total STEM genius, while another would be a huge K-pop fan, all things that I am not super interested in. Despite not always being able to relate to them, these friendships have introduced me to new ways of thinking, taught me new skills and exposed me to different interests. Through these connections, I’ve grown in ways I never imagined, and I feel incredibly blessed to have friends who are so diverse.
Academics:
Have you ever spent hours studying only to bomb a test? Don’t let failure discourage you. Sure, it’s frustrating to put in all that effort and not get the grade you hoped for, but remember, you’re way more than just a letter grade. Failure is a natural part of the learning process. Yes, grades matter, but don’t neglect your other priorities just because you’re focusing on being an academic weapon.
With all the pressure to excel in academics, it’s easy to burn out from studying too much. Take a moment to breathe and stay positive. Make sure to reward yourself from time to time. It could be as simple as taking study breaks to enjoy a piece of chocolate or making plans with friends to catch the latest movie in theaters. Personally, I find that listening to music and playing songs that match my mood is an incredibly helpful way to cope with stress. Just be careful not to take too long of a break; you don’t want to procrastinate and end up with a pile of work to catch up on later. While prioritizing academics is crucial, it’s equally important to maintain balance and have activities that help you relax and take your mind off school.
Extracurriculars:
When choosing clubs and activities, keep an open mind and don’t limit yourself right away. Explore different options if something interests you. But remember to ask yourself if what you’re doing holds meaning for you. If it doesn’t, then you haven’t found your passion yet. Don’t hesitate to drop certain clubs or activities because, in the end, what’s the point of being involved in something that doesn’t bring you genuine enjoyment or fulfillment?
Similar to my outlook about valuing quality over quantity in friendships, avoid overcommitting to clubs. Focus your time and energy on clubs or activities that truly matter to you. It’s not about joining as many things as possible just for the sake of it. Your time is precious, so don’t take it for granted. Channel your energy towards making a large impact on the things you care about most.
Kindness:
Lastly, be kind to yourself and others. Don’t be too tough on yourself; you’re doing your best, and that’s what counts. Take the time to check in on people—it can mean a lot, especially to those who are struggling. A simple gesture like asking how they’re doing, engaging in small talk or even just smiling and acknowledging them can make someone feel valued and supported. We should all be kind to each other at all times because we don’t know the full story about what’s going on in everyone’s lives and a little kindness can brighten someone’s day in unexpected ways.
